repentance

dawyn henriquez

 

All above me I hear the laughter and kinship of alike souls:

People who have not committed gluttony of the flesh.

And I am here with the numbing nothingness of others

And the hurting everything of myself to give to no one.

 

I am a person who sought soiled satisfaction, yet I have a soul

That tore at my seams in order to find actual substance

Within those skins I wore like ill-fitting gloves.

I am young bodied and old souled;

A crippling mismatch of ideals coursing through my veins

Not allowing me to find the happiness I so desperately crave.

Meanwhile, an old kindred spirit out there is perfect for my own

And I am yet not ready to face such a daunting climb

Out from these pits I find myself jailed within.

 

I want to love someone and, I know, I say that a lot,

But I live in the constant throws of the second circle.

So, how could I possibly not desire what I may never have?

How could I not wish myself free from such a prison?

This, a place where the lustful are chained together and tossed by a storm.

This, a place where the ability to love is ripped from your skin.

This, a place where winds snatch up all opportunities for more

In exchange for sex—a trade that my ill-managed heart

Decided to accept many times. I was thrust into this everlasting

Whirlwind of romances that lead nowhere, all for the crime of fucking

Those I had no intention of loving, at a time I knew no better.

And that, that I’ll regret for all time.

 


Dawyn Henriquez is a sophomore at Providence College. He comes from a small, mainly Latino town called Lawrence in Massachusetts. Dawyn has always loved stories while growing up, but he really got started with writing in the 7th grade when drawing could no longer tell elaborate enough stories for him. His work has also appeared in The Alembic. Read more of his poetry on Instagram.