Like Something Cool

Azia DuPont

I don’t know how many ways I can say I’m sad.

I keep tucking I’m sad into tiny spaces, like

The space between my mattress and the floor,

Your back pocket as I watch

You walk away from me.

I don’t know how many times I’m sad

Has meant I miss you.

I keep dressing I’m sad in I hate you

And Never talk to me again but nothing ever

Seems to fit right.

I’m sad weeps for a chance at another disguise.

I’m sad wilts yellow again into the only thing

I’m sad knows—another body.

I don’t know how many arms

Have held I’m sad. I keep reminding I’m sad

To be soft,

To maybe smile more and remind all the arms

How safe they feel, how strong.

But don’t be needy, I say. Make it sound

Like something cool,

Like a compliment and, Shh, I’m sad;

Don’t let them know how he broke you.

Azia DuPont lives in Southern California. She founded the small press, Dirty Chai, in 2012. Her writing has appeared in Maudlin House, Dead Flowers: A Rag | Bohemian Pupil Press, Squawk Back, Sheepshead Review and elsewhere. You can find her online at www.aziadupont.com or via Twitter @aziadupont.