Like Something Cool
I don’t know how many ways I can say I’m sad.
I keep tucking I’m sad into tiny spaces, like
The space between my mattress and the floor,
Your back pocket as I watch
You walk away from me.
I don’t know how many times I’m sad
Has meant I miss you.
I keep dressing I’m sad in I hate you
And Never talk to me again but nothing ever
Seems to fit right.
I’m sad weeps for a chance at another disguise.
I’m sad wilts yellow again into the only thing
I’m sad knows—another body.
I don’t know how many arms
Have held I’m sad. I keep reminding I’m sad
To be soft,
To maybe smile more and remind all the arms
How safe they feel, how strong.
But don’t be needy, I say. Make it sound
Like something cool,
Like a compliment and, Shh, I’m sad;
Don’t let them know how he broke you.